So here I am – the outback; dream of fields, fields of fields – even my week long denial couldn’t stop my fate, in fact it made me significantly unprepared mentally, emotionally and physically.
I have been in the minuscule bumpkin village of Narembeen now for three week with the herds of farm folk, kiwi sheep shaggers sheerers and the endless tumble weed blowing by but let me take you back to the days leading up this present, very real reality.
My Gold Coast exit was one rocky road indeed – and not the chocolate marshmellowy kind but the bumpy as shit journey made worse by heavily despising the situation you’re creeping closer to. Kicking and screaming, doors welded shut, no way to escape – my only thoughts – “fuck, how can I make time stand still?”
Surrounded by friends but painfully alone and way too much time spent in my own head got me feeling like my regional horror had begun prematurely because this is exactly how I envisioned the outback to be – dead, depressing and depriving.
There was one positive associated with Perth and that was the German guy – I’d met him in Italy a year prior and he was a ray of sunshine and a positive influence on my life ever since. To him, I was a fleeting encounter but actually his energy and vibe had stayed with me ever since. Recently moving to Australia, the universe had given our paths an opportunity to cross again and what better time than when I really needed a positive boost.
Monday 2nd October – this day my regional work was confirmed and before I had the time to consult and OJ my way around it, I spent the last of my cash on my flight ticket to Perth leaving Friday night and the train to never-never-land on the following Monday. Why? I knew I had to reluctantly complete 3 months in the outback to secure my second year here in Australia. What followed was a series of destructiveness coupled with copias amounts of tequila shots and painful woasme’s. Six months of building my new colourful, bright and sunshiney life, the meaningful friendship’s I seeked out and my rock n roll job as a foodie, lifestyle writer for a magazine was over or put on pause? Shit, it felt majorly over.
Australian systems are just off key – so many hoops and no promises but if you were to get into a relationship, you can stay – fuck, I know how my last year is being spent. Was it more likely to get sponsored or get into a relationship? At this stage, I didn’t even know – I’d never met a faithful aussie. This does actually bring me to my next point – the denial I was experiencing regarding leaving was intense, I even joined tinder and had a few dates in the last 3 days. He was half Japanese, 32 and seemed to be a fully functioning adult. He was married though which kinda proved my theory that 50% of men are – but this time around at least he was separated. During the date he got better looking after time and despite his pending divorce, he was cheerfully loving life and picking up chics whenever it suited him. Was I trying to get into a relationship to avoid entering the outback? But alas, I fucking failed – perhaps I came across too keen in my “get married quick” scam.
Friday 6th October – Well at least I’d spent the extra and flown Virgin – I sat next to a fellow drinker so we drank our way through the free booze on-board. Tragically enough, even with the added altitude, the alcohol wasn’t hitting me where it hurt, this anxiety seemed invincible – what more could it take?
Landing in Perth still hating my situation, I got my phone out and booked an Uber. Arriving at the shady looking hostel prison, I knocked on the door to get no response. Was this actually happening? Could this experience get any worse – yes when some dude opened the door a crack and told me “what do you think this is, a hotel” – was it a rhetorical question, and I suppose to answer this dumb fuck? It was something my mum would say except WTF, this was a hotel, why else would it be on Booking.com. Anyway, really feeling frustrated I hadn’t been greeted with the smile I so needed, I said “look can I stay or what? I cant be arsed with this, I’ll find some place else?” He said I could stay and showed me to my room telling me I owed him 20 bucks for coming late. I say “what the fuck, don’t you get paid or something?!!” Not impressed with that and me feeling a bit of a CU Next Tuesday I attempted to connect to his Italian routes but little did I know it wouldn’t matter as the next morning he knocked on my door and my shirt popped open giving him a free-view of my huge boobs – funnily enough he never asked me for the 20 bucks again, the debt was settled. Maybe I should do that more often.
Saturday 7th October – Waking up was hard – I laid in bed and finished the last series of Bad Education and Travels with my Father, if Jack Whitehall couldn’t cheer me up I was doomed. Nearly getting onto 4pm, no water or food I decided to go out and see what this place had to offer. Entering a bar I got a beer and rang my GC bestie Alex – I would go on to ringing him 5 times that day, every time I felt awkward like a fish out of the GC ocean.
Avoiding conversation with anyone, a doorman approached me and right then, I realised, talking made me feel better. I had been so obsessed with avoiding human contact I hadn’t realised that interacting actually took my mind off it. So with this, my anxiety slowly diminished and I quickly felt a lot lighter so I thanked this man and left for the German guy’s bar.
Hell, this boy had gotten even cuter! The bar was packed so I quietly got a drink and tried to catch his eye. His backed turned I called his name, “Alex!” – he came and gave me a hug and no more did I feel lonely – a familiar face really put me at ease.
Saturday 7th October – The day that followed was my favourite. A whole day with the German guy; I was curious as to why I had been so engrossed with him for the past 12 months. We met in Italy when I was visiting my sister and shared a few days together in Pisa and Florence. Something special exuded this human-being – just being in his presence was something I cant explain. After meeting him a year ago, the way I felt about him changed my dating standards – I wanted this feeling with any guy I met from now on – the bar was raised. I returned to London and as time went on, I stuck to this, I started this website and spent my time being productive and planning for Oz.
After 1 day in Perth, of course I felt the same about him but a little less intense – he is still growing as a person, experiencing new and different things so I will let this flower continue to blossom, like a fine wine, the longer I wait, the better he’l become.
Sunday 8th October – A sausage roll; a hot, meaty and delicious bakery treat was the breakfast I munched whilst I waited to board the train to the middle of nowhere. I mean who knows if they have even heard of sausage rolls let alone stock them. All aboard – NEXT STOP NAREMBEEN!
Katie Babb 