The content is purely for comical effects, please don’t get offended.
So, it turns out they do know what sausage rolls are here and actually more than the average Joe yet less than the top dog inventors, the British, despite the USA attempting to claim rights with their imitation, the “Puff Dog” – which sounds like a strong contender for Sean Combs next name change.
Max, the top Wheatbelt meat surgeon, definitely seemed to have his finger in all the delicious pies making various varieties of those bad boys every day – these farmer folk lived and breathed these meaty stuffed mouth orgasms. But of course, it’s a known stereotype that farmers love a good pasty amongst others things and for sure I know this having lived in the British west country. It just demonstrates how cynical I felt leaving for Narembeen being like, these hillbillies won’t even know sausage rolls. Kill me now for I was the judgemental cunt because actually everyone had their teeth intact and I’ve never enjoyed socialising with a bunch of people more!
Whenever I enjoyed these homemade pork naughties, bite after bite there was no time to even savour the delicious flavour, vigorously, I would ram it down my very own pie hole – and in the 10 seconds of said pig scoffing, I always wondered, would I meet my very own meat pastried treat…my very own personal pork sausage whilst in this land of Cotton Eye Joe’s, would he be called Joe or would I continue to only endure the satisfaction of deep throating Max’s pastry counter whilst fingering the pies.
Arriving at Merridin train station after around a 3 hour journey, I was met by a smiley face, a down to earth, funny humoured German girl which later I would go on to realise…”not only was this girl a doll but she had a killer bod too!!” We went for a coffee and chatted, I instantly felt better – this girl was normal, I was sure of it – YES, I thought, there are normal people working in my future homeland – I can do this and in those obese words of Eddy Murphy, my mind chanted…
After a relaxing coffee, feeling there was no rush, we headed down a derelict road which seemed like just a straight line – think Jeepers Creepers without the creeper music but with a belly full of fear and anxiety! Alas, Narembeen.
Narembeen, October 2017 – 3 weeks
Upon arriving, feeling like I was going to release a hot steaming pile of poo as I entered my room, I was really feeling nervous, should I have been more hesitant in claiming, “yes I can??”.
I unpacked my clothes trying to make it look as homely as possible – on the positive, I guess I was living in a pub (bucket list tick), 3 meals a day (potential weight loss & money saver) and my own room so really, I did feel excited – I wasn’t sure how strict lock down was so best not count my chickens yet.
With what appeared at first to be a crazy angry midget storming the halls, the pub, everywhere you went or thought about going, I soon realised this lady had heart of gold whilst being an absolute mentalist! And besides, she is a good example to women when it comes to having their shit under control, shit in control and taking no shit.
The kind of lady that if you threw her into the most complicated maze, she would get out no problem – no wall to high, no puzzle too hard – easy peasy!
More about the one and only Julie in my next blog!
I got stuck into my first shift and despite never working in a bar before, I actually really enjoyed it as far as I remember and the more shifts I did, the more fun I had. Getting people drinks, chatting, flirting, hearing the gossip and waking up without a hangover was something I could get use to! I’d put some serious hours and money into being the other side of the bar throughout the years but now wondered, was this my actual destined side all along? Time would tell.
Julie was on fire, following me around watching everything I did, checking everything I did, correcting everything I did – but in the end her insane passion into training the girls a certain way with a cut throat approach became pretty tolerable and hilarious, she should probably have her own YouTube channel, I thought. To be fair I now feel I could go on to working in a bar outside of Perth which is always something good to have on the side.
In the first few days, I met another girl who started just before me, her name for the purpose of the blog will be “Girl XX” – so loud and in your face, there was no way of avoiding this girl, she was like venom once she got her teeth stuck into you. I did like her though, she helped me through my first weeks, coping with the culture shock and her loud and shameless personality got us out and about in Narembeen meeting folk and partying.
We met Zane, a lovable, friendly guy in which me and Shanice may or may not have broken into his house to watch TV. Irish Pete, so kind and let me watch Netflix at his during the day. The guys from little Denmark, all these were actually really sweet and nice to hang out with. They loved there Captain Jacks & coke which is an actual drink, initially I thought they got the two drinks mixed up with the language barrier. Sometimes things got so heated here a cold shower was necessary!
We also spent time at Seb’s house with his beer pong and gorgeous puppy dog! He was a nice guy and his housemate Ben too. Sunshine was cute, a smart guy and Jamie was kind and funny humoured, he helped me when my vape liquid would run out so thanks for that too!
The Last Night in Narembeem
Carrying my shoes and spangled head in my hands, me and Girl XX stumbled back to the pub around 6am awaiting our impending exit to Bruce Rock (BK) to start our shift at 10.30. All barmaids came to Narembeen for training and get shipped off there afterwards. Of course, deep down maybe I wouldn’t have minded staying in Narembeen because I had gotten use to it and felt like just one of the other sheep in the fields but hey, I try and be a positive thinker so onto the next adventure I thought! Little did I know what would greet me there! Thank you Narembeen!
Sometimes you have to face your fears to live your dreams!
Next stop, Bruce Rock.
Katie Babb 