I ventured into Cairns making my way to the local supermarket, I always found it exciting exploring different supermarkets, their foods, the pricing, isles, offers and the hot counter. So a sandwich made in the supermarket was 10 dollars, this seemed a lot but I did fancy a sandwich so I price checked a loaf of bread and a pack of ham to see if the price was justified. I soon learnt that instead of spending 10 dollars on a sandwich, I could buy it separately and make 15 ham sandwiches, that never failed to amaze me, bought separately you could make multiple amounts – so why didn’t people? I’m no stranger to sitting on a park bench assembling my own DIY sandwich from Tescos’ with the extra satisfaction knowing you can accurately calculate the calories perfectly when adding no butter or mayo.
I’d often employ this tactic in restaurants seeing if I could mix and match my meal cheaper by myself with the extras and sides. I know I sound completely tight but that’s not why I do it, I don’t actually order my meal in parts, but I do get a weird satisfaction when I know I’ve out smarted the “Menu Pricer” for that establishment, you should try it, it’s pretty addictive!!
But anyway, I didn’t buy either, I didn’t want one expensive sandwich nor did I want the ingredients for 15 sandwiches, I was only peckish afterall.
Opting not to set up a ham sandwich factory in the middle of the park, I went for an ambitious stroll all around the harbour. I couldn’t wait to reach the beach so I asked someone where I could find it and was laughed at, “its Cairns, we have coral, no beach!”. WTF?? Clearly my Ozzy plan of just wingin’ it had a few flaws but I was still pretty confident, I am travelled, not much can throw me off I thought??
In replace of the beach, they did have a beautiful lagoon with a swimming pool, life-guards and free BBQ’s you can use! I think the free BBQ’S were the first “Ahh Haah” moment I had in Australia. I couldn’t believe it, I even stopped to chat to the couple below who told me the Council provide them. What fresh slice of heaven was this? One could even be convinced the Australian Government encourages their citizens to have the best time living here! No wonder it was so hard to get a permanent visa or even entry into the country, I wasn’t even convinced I was worthy!!
After seeing the lagoon area, I quickly rushed back to the hostel, put my bikini on and headed back to the pool. It was bloody boiling and I couldn’t wait to get involved. Arriving back at the pool, I’d brought some apple ciders with me, they were delish, exactly the right taste the day needed. Of course, I was shut down when security told me no alcohol was allowed by the pool, however, my bubble could not burst!!
The flight sets off on time and a sarcastic cheer from the passengers can be heard like flying a plane was as easy as flying a kite (which I couldn’t even do). If I was the pilot id be half tempted to cut my nose off to spite my face and plunge straight into the Indian Ocean, however, he was clearly more mature than me.
Sandwiched in between two French nationals, I felt like the ham and cheese in their “croque monsieur”. The flight got under way and we got to know each other and have quite a laugh. After the standard list of interview questions, I shared a glass of wine with Lucas, the insane green eyes and Barbara, the slim hippy dippy. Ironically, cheese and ham toasties were the only thing unavailable on the menu, not to mention Lucas, why was everyone only 20 these days??
Cairns, I’m in Cairns! I arrived late at 9.00pm so its dark but the airport is very small so there were no queues at least. Still in doubt that I completed my visa correctly or might get stopped in customs and interrogated, I walked straight through like they were happy to have me. I had watched too much Australian Border Force, wasn’t it harder, did they not want to check my bags and give me a cavity search?
So I had one day in cairns, two nights and one day. I teamed up with green eyes and we found a shuttle bus who drop you to your door for 10 dollars – taxis were around 30 dollars, I didn’t really see the difference except the price. Before I vacated the shuttle, frenchy ripped his luggage tag off his bag and gave me a pen, I gave him my name for FB and my website, how romantic I thought. Shame he wasn’t older.
I arrived at the hostel and got let in by the Night Manager. Still partially deaf by the plane, I waited by the door as he walked off mishearing him say, “follow me.” He came back and I heard him say to me, “did you kill someone out there?” to which I reply, “did I kill someone? No, but if I did, it wouldn’t be any of your business!” – thinking my humour would charm him, he’s replies, “WHAT! I said, are you waiting for someone out there?!”
So looking like an absolute lunatic, he sat me down and took my details. The Night Manager was quirky to say the least, seemed very nice but jittery, a bit off his head. Wouldn’t be surprised if he had killed someone out there.
With no one killing anyone, I had a stroll into Cairns central, it was beautiful, clean and generally nice. I made my first visit to the bottle shop, the only place alcohol is sold. In England, you can find booze anywhere, a barber shop, a gallery, a homeless man named Keith. Going in a shop to just buy alcohol makes you feel a bit dirty, I’d at least want them see what food I’m pretending to eat with it.
So Taiwan, the girl in my dorm, she was actually very sweet, I think shed just found a job and a place to live. I couldn’t properly understand her, but I didn’t let her know that – not one to burst the bubble of someone else (unless I had a shit day or they’ve pissed me off) she, however, was safe.
Then enters a Korean woman, she was weird, slightly annoying and wasn’t afraid to wake you up to ask a pointless question. She asked me where she could visit locally, I’m like, “the lagoon, the promenade” to which she replied “why would I go there and hang out with young people, I don’t want to do that”! I thought, why did you ask me, a relatively young person their advice, just to criticise? Was thinking, what the fuck, just google it yourself then..
As I lay on my top bed bunk, I realised my streak of flying high in accommodations thus far would be a distant memory and experiencing different walks of life would stubble around me making me feel a little better about my own weirdness.
Slowly awoken by the day light streaming through the window and a high pitch noise screeching like a million cats, I tossed and turned wondering if my sleep deprivation was causing hallucinations. The noises didn’t fade out like my tiredness so I decided to get up and grab the day by the whiskers, after all, I was finally in Australia. I had the whole day in Cairns, it seemed a long time, enough time to explore central so I jumped in the shower and headed out.
Leaving the hostel, I walked toward the town and the screeching noises got louder, however, the cause would soon reveal itself. Hundreds of bats hanging in the trees screaming their heads off! I didn’t expect that!
The departure had got me feeling like a celebrity with all this fuss by me leaving. There was literally no turning back without looking like an absolute moron. I was homeless, jobless; I would say there was a difference between me and half of the Maidstone population but actually, I suspected theirs was by choice also. However, I digress, on the way to the airport, I had roadies in hand to ease the pure fear running through my veins like I’d just jacked up a hit of “scared”. Before leaving my mum and Laura at departures, I felt I should have recited a heart felt speech I probably could have mentally wrote on the journey to Heathrow. I am unsure what I did say but I knew what I should have and I hope they do too! 🙂
February 16th
I am on my second flight at the moment. In ways its better than the first except the “scared” i’d injected earlier was now stronger than ever creating actual tears falling from my eyes. During the first flight, I also had fluids leave my body but through my skin, air India was how I expected land India to be, crowded and sticky. And that’s not racist because Raj from The Big Bang Theory made a similar funny and I dated someone half Indian.(Classic i’m not racist excuse!) But i’m not.
This was my first stop off, Koh Phi Phi. It’s a very small island in southern Thailand, no roads, just pathways, the occasional moped and buckets galore!
I arranged to meet two friends from Maidstone here so I ended up staying in their cabin for 5 days. We made some good memories and one rather disturbing memory I’d rather just call a tumour. It involves Chris Marshall and later, I predict, the police.
It was a beautiful place but a little too party heavy for me and the music was a bit 90’s which let them down. Probably lucky for me though or I’d be fist pumping my way into the sunrise.
Having said that, me and my mate Sophie did put immense effort into emptying cans for our “Chang” pyramid which we finally completed at 11.00am. Skills!
Next stop, Kuala Lumpa, Malaysia. I came back to visit friends I’d met here 2 years ago whilst working as an extra on a French reality series, “Koh Lanta”.
KL is a very busy city, somewhat polluted, quite a lot of abandoned rubbish but none of that matters once here, as locals are friendly and always happy to help!
Picture night markets, street foods, performers , a lot of taxis, roller-coasters in shopping centres and smiles!
Whilst here, I met my friend Farik, he took me too some bars, met his friends, it was great fun. He is my KL boyfiend, we speak once a week for the past two years and when we meet, we are lovers with a lot of real things to talk about also. Great relationship, it works well for both. We know we will never have our time so we just have a good time when our paths do cross.
Also took advantage of how cheap this country is – I changed my look for just £20, its cut short and the colour very blonde. I had this done over two days, of course, I wanted to check my cut was okay before she got her colour kit out. Also bought like 3 pairs of converse, some snapbacks and a super awesome vape pen! Probably spent too much so far, but the way I see it, its cheaper to buy here than in Oz.
So I am in the air flying to Australia, It’s day later than scheduled, we boarded the plane last night and after sitting here for 3 hours, the Christmas songs on loop had really put people on edge. I wondered whether we would have noticed the songs if the plane had left on time, maybe all planes play unseasonable songs and the efficiency of the airline helps us not notice? Or maybe a songs a song to be played at any time regardless of the theme – I knew this wasn’t true but just wanted to demonstrate I can cover all bases when problem solving! Last night, they announced that the runway would be closing and the issue with the aircon wasn’t fixed. They had engineers, mission control and other official sounding bodies try and fix it, however, failing. To be honest, after sitting for 3 hours and then, if the aircon had worked, going on to fly for 4 hours would be pretty painful so I did feel relief.
We left the plane and headed towards the airport hotel but I couldn’t help but think I should have been arriving at my own hostel in Cairns at the same time. A free room with $30 credit and breakfast wasn’t my ideal plan but actually, it was nice to have a posh shower and a posh sleep before the final destination. Of course, I strategically studied the menu in my room with the pen and paper provided calculating the best way to spend $30. I wasn’t the best at chosing from a menu, but I gave it a shot, mash potato, vegetarian pizza, two beers and a Tequila sunrise. I don’t even know if I was hungry but c’est la vie.
I’d gone from sharing a bed with Sophie and Chris, to a double bedroom in a run down hostel to my own villa at Vinaya Homestay and now a posh hotel room with basically a free tab. I smuggly felt I was climbing the property ladder, going up the ranks, god who knows where I would end up staying next, maybe a mansion with Puff Daddy?!! Deep down I knew it was a 6 person dorm in Cairns but nothing is certain, I still held onto the excitement that anything can happen!
It was my final day in the place I’d rented cheaply in London for the goal of saving for my exit to Australia. By this point, I had convinced myself that it wasn’t too bad, but the fact I hadn’t invited any mates or guys round, spoke louder than the mould developing in the shower room. I believe every cloud has a silver lining, so these pretty serious defects gave me the extra strength to hang my worn and tatty dancing shoes up, once and for all. My time was my own, “I am time”, what did I do with it? You’ll probably see some of it on this site.
January 28th2017
My final day working for Transport for London. This workplace was seriously cool, if i hadn’t decided to move to Australia, I would have probably tried to develop a career here, maybe even find a husband. Having said that, my suggestion of TFL speed dating (Transport for Life) hosted in the canteen was shunned in a meeting, i fake laughed whilst discretely scribbling out the sketch I’d drawn of the logo. My work leaving party was nerve-wracking but exciting, check it out on the TFL page but don’t worry, there’s pictures if you’re not a big reader like myself. This was the night Becky, my older sister, penned her infamous quote “not my problem” – these words would haunt me for decades to come.
February 11th2017
My family leaving party was today, a Saturday. Much to my sister Laura’s dispear, i had opted for bowling instead of a meal in a restaurant. I don’t know what it is, but the girl goes crazy for a restaurant. Maybe it wasn’t just her and in fact I’m the minority but i always think counting calories in public whilst in-intoxicated was challenging. So bowling – my cousin Aimee was also down from Bath with her son Muse, I love this kid. I always had a sneaky suspicion that kids enjoy my company because they know I’m not proper. Back to bowling, long story short, I scored half a strike and woke up in a hotel room with crisps in bra, standard Saturday night.
February 14th 2017
This was my last night in England for a while but I was lucky, I had a date with two people, my mum and Laura. We had a Chinese, it was delicious and the pro-longed wait for the delivery made it even better. I probably should have thanked the lady on the phone instead of telling her “we are never ordering from you again”; she did have the last laugh though after replying, “okay” then hanging up. Who said romance was dead. I admired her brutalness and not give a f*** attitude.
Taken in Colmeal, Portugal. Photographer, Katie Babb.
So last week I visited Portugal, my second time in 10 years. The stakes were high, I hadn’t seen my Dad in more than half that time and I had never seen Justin Bieber. Who was I more excited to see, were they even really comparable, should I even have this comparability as a thought process. Maybe one of them was a perk of the trip, I wouldn’t really know yet but all I did know is that I must have spent way too much time in my own head already.
When I arrived in Lisbon, I was literally starving. I decided to consciously bypass the airport convention of continuously eating throughout the journey milestone’s that be; to the airport, at the airport and in the air. I couldn’t decide which of these warranted an overpriced meal, so I settled for beer I’d bought from Tesco beforehand, drinks for the road, typically called “rodie’s” in Australian slang.
Before landing, I took the bus from work, rodie in hand, high in spirits but actually still seeking to elevate them. The bus to the airport needed a few Bieber songs en route to satisfy the level of excitement I wanted to achieve, not to mention to bury the nerves from seeing my Dad for the first time in years.
My Dad planned to meet me with his partner, Margaret, from arrivals so I wondered what could help this anxiously anticipated moment become slightly less bizarre and being an expert in this field, of course, I knew the answer – just film it and replace my overly processed, travel built-up worries with the friend held around my neck, my camera.
Settled in Whatever Art Hotel, we took to the outside table and chairs which acted and felt a lot like a balcony although we were no higher that the hotel entrance. Perhaps a great invention for people scared of heights who still wanted the superior seclusion el fresco.
We drank wine and the host made us toast, the poshest toast I’d ever seen. Sliced into perfect squares, laid on the plate arranged perfectly, butter melting with a cover to keep the heat in but lose enough to allow us to enjoy the comforting smell. After feeling like I’d eaten a meal fit for a king it all came to an end when my attempts to go to the all night bar failed, so we parted ways to say “hasta manana”, the closest I’d gotten to Portuguese my entire trip.
I was gradually awoke by the stiff pain fermenting in my neck which was the method I preferred to believe I woke up in opposed to the natural sunlight beaming through the crack I’d left in the curtains. I got up for breakfast which was already prepared in the organised area, just Margaret, my Dad and I unsurprisingly as we were the only guests to occupy the hotel. Options of various cereals, rolls, croissants, ham and cheese’s were amongst the chosen breakfast items made available for us.If I was going to backtrack on the diet I’d been on for my Australian body, I was in the right place, with great decor a bonus. However, I opted for freshly made scrambled eggs with their rendition of coffee.
Designed on Photoshop for my Biber T-shirt
We got ready to leave and this is something I haven’t mentioned thus far, I presented Dad and Margaret with the custom made t-shirts I had designed for us, Justin Bieber originals I’d knocked up on Photoshop. I chose to wear mine from the morning ready for the concert but actually this sentence is slightly deceiving because I also worn mine on the plane, a top I could wear for 3 acceptable occasions was an achievement in my eyes.
Touring Lisbon, Margaret and my Dad admirably showed me the city in a way that showed their consideration and how much they wanted to educate and benefit my trip. This was great, but I had Bieber brain, not only that but I wanted a Bieber beer brain. We stopped along the way and had beer-stops, time for chats and guzzle the local lager. I came to a point where I felt very tired from walking, food deprived but at the same time a strong desire to reach the destination in fear I might be missing out. Feeling like Miss Moody and in serious danger of becoming one part brat-pack, I accepted their kind offer of food and a pit-stop before we left for the location of show.
A burger, a delicious juicy burger with friends we called fries were the only things standing in the way of Justin and I. After inhaling my kids meal and secretly admiring the ketchup smiley face on my bun, I had a drink I normally save for a nightclub at 3.00am, whisky and lemonade.
Making our way to the concert..I felt hazy, the concoction of anxiety and the excitement I’d been feeding all day was in full force and I was ready. We arrived, we were here, the crowds winded down multiple paths all around the arena, like tentacles attached to an Octopus. Tactically, we located a bar that overlooked one of the tentacles and Margaret and my Dad changed into their Justin Bieber originals.
T-shirt’s on, make-up laid a little thicker than usual, we were set, all we had to do was cleverly predict the right time to join the queue. The wine and conversation’s were going down easily, so we decided to avoid tampering with our experience and waited 30 minutes before the show started to float straight in. After all, I was a little too old to be blended into the flock of screaming girls circulating the arena like seagulls.
We were in and not even like sardines, more like wotsits in a grab bag. I think this was a benefit of watching artists abroad, the arena’s were smaller, slightly less people but something I couldn’t confidently associate as universal, was the brutal-ness. I predicted the next day, Lisbon would suffer an epidemic of torn muscles from all the human walls barricading you from entering the crowds.
Pushing my way through and at some stages, putting my full body weight against the wall, we were making progress. This progress came to an end when I bumped into THE viscous fan, Portuguese and probably older than me, her eyes looked black just like how I expected her soul to be. After desperate attempts to try and pass go and avoid jail, another girl was trying to get through the gate-keeper. She had gone to the toilets and her friends in spitting distance, but no, she was also denied access even with me fighting her corner. Who the hell was this horrid person.
As Justin Bieber emerged and was being lowered in a transparent box, I thought this distraction was enough and pushed one last time. Beer in the air I began to walk, she aggressively pushed me back and hit the drink out of my hand towards me, I turned to my Dad covered in my own beer. He was really shocked but little did he know, it was me who tried to pour the drink over her first but tactically she threw it back in my face, literally.
Waving the white flag, we started to enjoy Bieber and in turn, annoyed a lot of fans by my Dad giving me a piggy back. The show in distance, was entertaining, probably better up close, it was nothing to write home about, just to blog about.
Leaving for Porto, where my Dad lives, I could not believe my eyes – we turned the corner on the lonely road surrounded by beautiful nature, and right before us, was a double rainbow. The cosmic universe gave us an uncommon vision that represents the movement of earth to heaven, a sign or future success and transformation. What an symbolic way to to end our first trip and drive off towards our next adventure.
Katie Babb 